perfectlymeasured | [JP] June 2010 - Marc Broussard's Lyrics

I wish we were together
I wish I was home
I wish there were nights
Where I was never alone
I know I've said it
But I'll say it once again
I wish I could be there
But I can't

Your breath.

She knows it's so important to find your breath. These moments, they slip by so quickly and she's missed her mother so much that it nearly stings when she sees her standing there in front of her. It's undercut by the remark about her father, but even with that bitter string of a sentence, it's still her mom and she's still standing there, still trying to be the one thing she needed seven months ago. Why couldn't she have been there for her when she needed her, when she was alone and scared? When she was having the truth of what she had done be thrown in her face and she was left to move in with near strangers.

Was it the thought that mattered? Was it that single step forward that was meant to close a gap so wide, that she couldn't even close it by reaching out her fingers?

How is it supposed to go now?

Is this the place where all is forgiven?

Your baby.

The pinch of pain had been there earlier. She'd felt it and pushed it aside. Dancing, singing, all of it made the baby so happy. Feet pressing to the side of her, moving along with her. Their baby was special. Now though, the pain was different. It was a shift inside of her that she couldn't put into words.

There were no words that she could even think to let slip to her mother as she stood there. A definite distinction between a mother and a mom. If there was any other way for this to go, Quinn knows she could've been a great mom.

Your heart.

She'd been told, other mothers during those classes where they teach you to focus on something other than the pain, that once it's over you forget the pain. It's why so many of them were on their third or fourth. Why they still needed to learn how to breathe was beyond her. In this moment she could swear they had been lying to her. Ease the worried mind of the young girl that did something regrettable. Tell her the pain is easy to forget.

The pain is unimaginable.

It hurts more than anything she'll ever remember, because one moment the baby... her baby, their baby was in her arms, and then she was gone.

Your journey.

She came early. If anything, it was a testament to how she'd never be the type to wait until it was her turn. She knew love. If anything, Quinn knew she had given that child everything she could give. She knew music. If anything, her first words could've been Sweet Caroline and they would've been just as happy. There would have been singing and there would've been so much joy.

Your choice.

Quinn made the right one. It hurts. It hurts more than anything she'll ever feel in her lifetime, to give up her child. The reasons are all in her heart. Age. Money. Stability. Education. Provisions. Futures. They just don't make it any easier of a choice.

It was smart. It was going to be okay. For everyone.

Your breath.

It's shaky on the exhale. The pillow pressed close to her chest as she clings to the softness of it. Her tears are warm against her cheeks, streaked over skin as her fingers sweep them away. It aches like a knot in her chest, like a weight being pressed to her ribcage that makes it so difficult to breathe. She needs to though, she needs to breathe. It just hurts so much to think that she spent all those months caring for her, protecting her and keeping her close... to have her so far away from her now.

She wishes she could be holding her and watching her sleep. Wishes she could hear that soft sound of a yawn as she stretched. She wishes things could've been different, she could've been older, more prepared... more willing to give up everything for someone else.

Instead she gave up the one thing she can never get back, in hopes that Beth can end up with everything she'd never have been able to give her.

Your future.

It'll start tomorrow and, for right now, it can wait.

[JP] June 2010 - Marc Broussard's Lyrics

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